i grant you three wishes

i've often thought that if i had a terminal illness and there was some sort of "make a wish foundation" for single 30-somethings my wish would be to star in a lifetime original movie. not the movie about my life - but a straight up lifetime movie. it would probably be called Shadow in the Darkness: the Shawna Bartlett Story of Obsession turned into Triumph or maybe Small Town Deception: the Margaret Tillsdale Story of Murder and Lost Innocence. i'm pretty sure i've got the acting chops they are looking for and what better way to build a legacy than decades of reruns?

anywho i just had a major epiphany when i realized what my runner-up wish would be: for me and all of my friends to star in a chapter of trapped in the closet. thats right kiddos - just when you thought the world had nothing left to give r. kelly comes through like a ray of sunshine with chapters 13-22 of his glorious hip-hopera! there is a god after all! thank you mr. kelly for your bravery, artistic integrity and for making this earth a better place. and for a preview of said masterpiece, here you go:



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oh and p.s. incase you didn't hear the good news - the duggar's are already thinking about number 18. have a great weekend!